This covid-19 pandemic has many of us seeking ways to deal with mandatory, voluntary stay at home orders passed down from the government. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m about to lose my ish. News stories flashing left and right. More social media & news coverage about this virus than what one would consider normal news.

I’m actually guilty of spending the majority of my time aimlessly strolling through my timelines, barely achieving anything constructive or working toward anything of substance. I figured now was as good of a time as any to pick up writing again. Getting my mind off of current reality.

Picking up where I left off, allows me to continue my self-development journey. In my previous post, I discussed the fact that it’s okay to not be okay. Especially if you’re like me and you feel like you always have to be strong or in control.

Related post- It’s okay to not be okay!

7 Things to do when things are not okay

Here are 7 things that always help me when I am not feeling my best self or depressed. They get me out the period of not-okayness (yeah, I l know) or when I am heading into one. Hopefully they maybe of help to you.

Write IT down! 

Journaling is definitely one of the main avenues of release when I am feeling stressed, depressed, or just not myself. There is always something therapeutic about writing down my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, both good and bad. I always feel a sense of relief as each word is written or typed. In a past life, I would be considered as a journal hoarder, always buying more journals than I was completing. Now I use my notes app on my iPhone for quick notes to capture things as they happen instead of waiting till I am around my journal to try to remember what happened from a previous time.

Talk IT out! 

Find someone who you can trust to talk to about whatever it is that is bothering you. Someone that will listen and not dismiss your thoughts or feelings. For me, it’s my sister. I tend to keep things to myself, trying to work through things on my own before reaching out. She knows that if I’m reaching out, it’s something that I cannot work through on my own. It’s serious, well to me anyway. If you do not have a close family member that you can reach out to, try a close friend. Talk to someone professionally – I cannot stress this one enough! If you feel that nothing else is working, please seek professional help before it is too late. There are numerous resources available when “I’m not okay” turns into “I’m at my wits end”. From therapists, counselors, to anonymous hotlines. Help is available!

Exercise IT out!

One of the best ways (in my opinion) to combat stress or instances of depression or anxiety. Sometimes it’s as simple as a quick, brisk walk or an intense, vigorous workout. Something to get the body moving. It helps with maintaining mental fitness, reducing fatigue, improving concentration, among other things.

Pick up a hobby you are passionate about!

I don’t know about you but working on something that I am passionate about puts me in a happy place. It can be reading, painting, photography, drawing, crafting, writing, etc. Anything to get the creative juices going, taking our minds off things.

Create a dope music playlist!

There is something to be said about a bad@ss music playlist. One that puts you in a vibe, whether it be to get focused, relaxed, or amped up. I love to dance, so my playlists put me in a great mood and keep me moving, vibin’ with the beat.

Meditate! 

I am still working on this one. I have read that meditating is also a good way to overcome stress and anxiety. Being more mindful and present in the chaos of life and our never-ending thoughts. I have been starting with a minute or two of mindfulness focused on my breathing at a time. Anything longer than that and my thoughts take over. My ultimate goal is to make it to at least 30 mins. (Any tips?! No, seriously!)

Laugh IT Out! 

Laughter is always good for the soul. It has both mental and physical benefits. I love a good laugh. I mean one of those gut-wrenching, doubling over type of laughs. It’s a great stress reliever that can put you in a feel good mood, no matter how temporary. When I am feeling stressed or down, I tend dig deep in my favorite comedies or stand up to get out of the funk I’m in. Anything Kevin Hart or Dave Chapelle always seem to do the trick.

What gets you through the moments when you do not feel okay? Let me know in the comments. 

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let me tell you about me…

when things began to change…

honest conversations…

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Ways to invest in your mind, body, and soul

Mind

• Reading various types of books to challenge the mind & encourage creativity 
• Reciting positive affirmations that encourage more self-love 
• Write, write, and write some more – brain dumps – to get out of our mind
• Take necessary mental breaks
• Meditate 

Body

• Eat the right foods
• Taking care of yourself physically by being more active 
• Listening to our body when it has had enough or need a break
• Getting restful sleep w/ a sleep routine
• Soak up plenty of vitamin D
• Exercise consistently

Soul

• Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people 
• Look for deeper meaningful relationships that add to our overall well being instead of take a away from it
• Immerse yourself in travel – visiting places that will enrich our lives with its culture and history
• Listening to empowering people and music
• Living with intention in all things

Other ways-

• Fuel your passions
• Cut major stresses out of your life
• Declutter your intimate surroundings
• Practice mindfulness
• Prioritize growth
• Create a routine – in the morning/night

What are some of the ways you invest in your mind, body, and soul? Let me know in the comments. 

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Mini-mantras repeated over and over again until the desired message sticks. Slowing making their way into our minds, changing our thoughts and shaping our reality. If that’s the case, then affirmations are already a part of your daily life.  

 What are affirmations?

If you were to look up the definition of affirmation, you will find some variation of the following:  the action or process of something being affirmed.  

Some say that affirmations are unrealistic. Or some degree of wishful thinking. They are actually so much more. Affirmations, positive ones to be more specific, are the gateway to change.  

It’s the first step in shifting our mindset. Simple statements repeated at most daily, reshaping our thoughts, leading to changes in our actions. You know the old adage, “Speak it into existence” or “What you put out into the universe you will receive”.  

How i shift my mindset to stay the course on my self-love journey?

I am a definite believer in positive affirmations. There is something about waking up each morning and the first thing you do (after making your bed…of course) is looking into the mirror in your birthday suit and reciting your affirmations out loud. Okay, okay, maybe not your birthday suit or speaking into your bathroom mirror. You have to do what works for you! Whatever feels comfortable.  

Now I am not going to lie and say that I do this EVERY single day (i know, i know! I’m working on it), but I ensure that I have at least eight affirmations that are crucial for getting my day started, functioning throughout the day, and moving in the direction of loving myself more. 

• I am Living my truth 
• I am loved 
• I fearLESS 
• I am authentic 
• I am unapologetically me 
• I am highly productive and well organized  
• I AM ME, an original  
• I am enough 

If I do not have time to spend looking into my bathroom mirror, I try to either recite them on my way to work; at my desk prior to work; or in times where I find myself deeply overwhelmed or stressed. I find that it is extremely helpful in shifting my mindset. It is not a one–time and done type of thing, but more of a speaking with conviction and determination kinda thing. 

Related: My Self-Love Journey

22 positive affirmations to begin your journey to self-love 

Here are 22 positive affirmations to begin your journey to self-love:  

1. I am Living my truth 
2. I am loved 
3. I am fearless 
4. I am authentic 
5. I am unapologetically me 
6. I AM ME 
7. I am worthy of love and respect 
8. I accept all of myself unconditionally…daily.  
9. I acknowledge that every day will not be 100% everyday…and that’s okay.  
10. I am enough 
11. I am grateful for each breath, for each breath is a gift from the most high. 
12. Today I chose to be a better version of myself that I was the day before.  
13. I radiate positive energy.  
14. Happiness and joy flow freely from me.  
15. Loving myself is essential to my happiness and well-being.  
16. I let go of all the reason and excuses for not loving myself.  
17. I have the ability to overcome any challenges life gives me.  
18. My mind is full of positive and nourishing thoughts.  
19. I practice self-love and self-care daily.  
20. I step courageously through each day.  
21. I am centered, peaceful, and grounded.  
22. I am exactly who I need to be in this moment.  

If you have not created any affirmations for whatever desired result or action you are trying to achieve in your life, I highly encourage you to do so. Feel free to use my list, modify them, or create your own.  

Until next time, 

Nadia 

See any affirmations that I am missing? Let me know in the comments.  

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The empowered woman is powerful beyond measure and beautiful beyond description. Steve Maraboli

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Something that takes constant work and dedication. Breaking old thought processes, actions, and emotions that kept us in the constant bubble of neglecting the very person we should always protect…me! 

Back in June of last year, I wrote a post about my quest for loving myself more and putting me first. Promising myself that I would remain fearless and work towards becoming a better version of myself. One that loves me. Truly loves me. 

It took me a year to attempt to continue on with my journey. Plagued with life’s highs and lows. Distractions that have kept me from continually seeking to love myself in everything that I do. Life is fickle like that, I guess. 

What is self-love?

If you were to look up the definition of self-love, you would find some degree of the following:

Self-love // broadest sense “love of self”

• An appreciation of one’s own worth and virtue
• Proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well being
• Inflated love of or pride in one self (narcissistic vibes)

In my opinion, self-love is simply being the best version of yourself, no matter what. No matter what people or society as whole says. Waking up each morning, working towards that goal. Picking up the pieces and continuing on even if there is a day where judgments are coming from every angle. 

Its accepting who you are, where you are. Finding comfort in knowing that it’s okay – that not every day will be an okay day. Not every choice will be the right choice. Fear is necessary part of life and one of life’s greatest teachers. 

Self-love is something that requires effort and continuous dedication. A mindset shift to something greater. So what better way to begin than with some quotes that inspire self-love within. 

21 Quotes to Inspire self-love within

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kapur

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” – Steve Maraboli

“I know see how owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” – Brene Brown

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in the world.” – Lucille Ball

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or other why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, while we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” – Andrew Matthews

“Loving yourself is t vanity. It’s sanity.” – Katrina Mayer

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

“Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self. It’s about accepting all of your self.” – Tyra Banks

“Self-love is not something that you get in one day or two days. It’s an ongoing process, and I go through it every day.” – Khoudia Diop

“I think the most import thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?” – Shailene Woodley

“Self-love is the source of all our other loves.” – Pierre Cornille

“I want to tell women that you need to love yourself and make yourself a priority. It’s only when you are happy yourself, can you make everyone else around you happy. I am still a dreamer and still believe in fairy tales, but there is only that much one should give another person. You need to keep something for yourself.” – bipasha basu 

“I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?” – Shailene Woodley

“Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.” – Ellen Degeneres

“I feel myself becoming the fearless person I have dreamt of being. Have I arrived? No. But I am constantly challenging myself to be unafraid to make mistakes.” – Janelle Monae

“There is nothing rarer, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her imperfection. To me, that is the essence of beauty.” – Steve Maraboli

“Be the very love that you crave.” – Christine Crave

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hahn

See any quotes that I am missing (hehe)? What are some other quotes that you use to get through your self-love journey? Let me know in the comments.

I hope these quotes inspire self-love within and get you one step to beginning your journey toward loving yourself and realizing the value in your worth. Are you ready to continue this journey with me? 

With love, 

Nadia

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Journaling is so therapeutic to me. It feels like I’m having intense conversations with my “best friend”… me. Lately, journaling has fallen by the wayside. My goal is to complete each list weekly in hopes that would reignite my love for journalling. Hopefully it will prompt you yo do the same! Happy Listing!!

#52listsforhappiness: What makes you happy right now?

1. Faith in the Man above
2. Family
3. Bentley, my pup (it’s a love hate thang!)
4. My blog
5. Books
6. The ability to travel, domestic and abroad
7. My Sony Alpha 6 camera
8. Soca and calypso music
9. Making my passion a reality
10. Empowering and motivating people
11. Exploring new places and things
12. Good food
13. Tasty Margaritas 
14. Tacos! (Yes, it gets its own line)
15. A nice hot shower!
16. Nature
17. Journaling

If you actually sat and thought about each of items listed in detail, how often can you say you get to experience the things listed? For me, I experience about 30% of these quite often. If I could chose one of the items on the list and turn it into a daily practice, it would be journaling. I don’t know about you but journaling definitely has its effects on my life. If I’m having a stressful or bad day, there’s something to putting the pen to paper. Feeling the stress escape as words are scribbled across the page. It’s like it’s out of my mind and I no longer have to focus on the negative thoughts looming in my head. What does journaling do for you?

Now go! Let me know the things that make you happy right now? As you think of those, think of how you can do one of those things daily. Let me know in the comments. 

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I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else? – Shailene Woodley

Do you truly love yourself? No I mean truly love yourself? And no I’m not talking about in a narcissistic way. But in an authentic way. Loving yourself fully. Inside and out. If I could summarize what self-love is to me, it would be just that – loving yourself authentically, inside and out, no matter the influence of forces within or outside ourselves. This can be our own fears and insecurities or society, better yet family or our closet friends.

I mean I have always thought I loved myself. To some degree I do. I mean I always worked hard and made sure I rewarded myself with what I wanted. But as I looked at some of my past choices, I noticed that- to a degree was right. Not that regret my choices, because it has shaped me into the woman I am today. Recently, I decided to love me more. Putting my best interests at the forefront. My first step in this direction is becoming more fearless. In my professional life, I have no problem with this. In my personal life, I struggle at times.

I came across Shannon Kaiser’s book… The Self-love Experiment: 15 Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself. One the topics she discusses is being fearless and not worrying about the acceptance of others. She provides an excellent guided meditation. Thought I would share:

I Am Fearless Guided Meditation

I trust myself.

I turn inward to connect to my heart.

I cannot make a wrong choice, for everything is in divine order.

I am fearless.

I focus my intentions on what I want and the desired outcome that I truly deserve. 

I am fearless.

I focus my vibrant energy, I am full of life, I am full of love.

I am fearless.

I put my trust into the unknown, because I know that I am being guided. 

I have a divine plan that is unfolding right in front of me. 

I am fearless. 

I can make no mistakes, for every choice I make helps me become more of who I really am. I align with my truth. 

I am fearless.

I allow love to guide me. I face forward with confidence, with clarity and control.

I step courageously into the next chapter of my life. And I focus on what I fully on what I want.

I remove distractions keeping me from my true purpose. 

I am fearless.

I allow light to flood through me.

I am full of love; I am full of passion; I am full of inspiration and my truth. 

I feel empowered. 

I am fearless.

I heal myself, and I heal others. 

When I focus on healing my own self, everything falls into place. 

I share my truth with energy and pure joy.

I am fearless. 

My dreams are coming true. I believe in myself and I believe in my future. And I know I am being guided. I am reaching my goals. 

My desires are on their way to me. 

I am fearless. 

I embrace the good in my life. I take loving action forward. I am aligned with my highest good. As I embrace this new chapter of my life, I am prepared to live it fully, I am connected to my best self, I am forever and always fearless. 

I spread my wings and I open them to fly, I soar gracefully, effortlessly, joyously, into my future. I am love. 

I am fearless. 

Feeling that I will be accepted as I am is something that I struggle with personally. I am ready to see myself and my worth, accept myself, and show up for myself. My authentic self. I feel beautiful…most times. I feel worthy…sometimes. If I’m honest, my biggest insecurity is feeling unworthy of others, especially those of the opposite sex. I mean, I am not the only one feeling this way, right?!

Time for change! To realize I am enough! It’s time to be fearless. I begin each morning reciting the I am Fearless guided meditation. I have a saved note on my phone, as well as carry one in my purse. We all want to be fearless and declare we are enough. I AM ENOUGH! You are ENOUGH! We are ENOUGH! Are you ready to embark on this journey??

-Nadia-

How are you being your most authentic self and practicing self-love in your life?

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I took a trip recently with the fam to Washington DC. DC is one of my favorite cities to visit. It offers history, numerous things to do, many places to explore, and a variety of foods to indulge in. The highlight of my trip was my visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture. I spent two days there – traveling back in time. Back in time to the beginning of African American history to present day. It amazed me to see all types of people hustling about. Various ages, ethnicities, and walks of life. I recommend that you visit it at least in your life. It’s free! I mean, why not.

Eats

I love a good burger. During my visit to DC, we ate at Burger Tap & Shake located in Foggy Bottom. I ordered the Tejas Signature Burger with a side of sweet potato fries. Yes it looks as good as the picture. It consisted of angus beef, chili con carne (without beans), grated cheddar cheese, onions, and pickled jalapenos, both red and green. It was sloppy, messy. A fork was required to eat it. The jalapenos provided a good little kick to it.

Reads

My TBR (To be read) pile keeps growing and growing. I am hoping to get through at least 52 books from that list this year. It doesn’t help that I am constantly adding to it. Always visiting a library or bookstore. I am hoping to get through the following:

• You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
• Everything You Want Me to Be by Mindy Mejia
• Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittany Cooper
• 12 Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis
• The Lonely Hearts Hotel by Heather O’Neil

Mini reviews to be posted when completed. I can do this!!! My reading challenge depends on it.

Quotes

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. – Thich Nhat Hahn

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Have you ever tried hard to work on one area of your life, only to have another area suffer tremendously? That is what I am currently dealing with. For the longest, my work life was all out of balance. It included working numerous late nights and weekends. Never fully taking a vacation. Always responding, whether by email or phone. Now that I have managed to have some sort of balance with work. Reducing my time to one late night a week. Only working on weekends if deadlines are approaching. Responding to important emails only. But I changed that…it was a slow process. But I did it! Now I am struggling with balancing my personal life. Oy Vey…

Finding time between having a life, traveling, working out and blogging, is becoming somewhat of a challenge. Getting into the gym has also been a challenge. Lately, my reason for not going is the cold weather. Anyone else have this excuse? Lol. I do know that when I was actively going to the gym 5 days out of the week, I felt better. Healthier. Less stressed. As my workload and goals increase, a healthy life is essential. As I am writing this post, I am looking to the warmer days. Me, cold weather and gym just do not mix. So, I have been looking at alternatives of working out at home. Now comes the task of finding the right mix of effective exercises, instead of throwing a shamble of a workout program together. I have been slowly not procrastinating on that. I know… terrible.

Reads

I ran across this saying regarding packing/unpacking and I am starting to believe that it is true. Well, partially. It states, “You may pack an hour before your trip, but take 3 weeks to unpack.” This was true when unpacking from my 2 ½ months of working in Louisiana. I uncovered two stacks of unread books. I definitely need to get the ball rolling on reading. Speaking of that, I am still trying to get through The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. I thought it would be an easy read, but its proving to be a tough one. Even though it provides easy concepts. I did manage to traipse the isles at Barnes and Noble looking for more reads and I stumbled upon 3 new books to add to my pile. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones. And two by Ta-Nehisi Coates: Between the World and Me and The Beautiful Struggle.

Shows

Ever since Immortals and Dracula Untold, I have been so in love with Luke Evans! So, it was only fitting that I watch a series with him in it. I have totally been tuned into The Alienist. Not to give much away, its about a unique doctor, and illustrator, and a secretary. All of whom are brought together by the need to determine who committed the murder of a young boy and the disappearance of others. I do not know why I like movies and shows of that nature, but I am intrigued. And then there is the fact that Luke Evans is in it. Ok, boy crushing over…

Words

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. – Langston Hughes

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