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]]>This covid-19 pandemic has many of us seeking ways to deal with mandatory, voluntary stay at home orders passed down from the government. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m about to lose my ish. News stories flashing left and right. More social media & news coverage about this virus than what one would consider normal news.
I’m actually guilty of spending the majority of my time aimlessly strolling through my timelines, barely achieving anything constructive or working toward anything of substance. I figured now was as good of a time as any to pick up writing again. Getting my mind off of current reality.
Picking up where I left off, allows me to continue my self-development journey. In my previous post, I discussed the fact that it’s okay to not be okay. Especially if you’re like me and you feel like you always have to be strong or in control.
Related post- It’s okay to not be okay!
Here are 7 things that always help me when I am not feeling my best self or depressed. They get me out the period of not-okayness (yeah, I l know) or when I am heading into one. Hopefully they maybe of help to you.
Journaling is definitely one of the main avenues of release when I am feeling stressed, depressed, or just not myself. There is always something therapeutic about writing down my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, both good and bad. I always feel a sense of relief as each word is written or typed. In a past life, I would be considered as a journal hoarder, always buying more journals than I was completing. Now I use my notes app on my iPhone for quick notes to capture things as they happen instead of waiting till I am around my journal to try to remember what happened from a previous time.
Find someone who you can trust to talk to about whatever it is that is bothering you. Someone that will listen and not dismiss your thoughts or feelings. For me, it’s my sister. I tend to keep things to myself, trying to work through things on my own before reaching out. She knows that if I’m reaching out, it’s something that I cannot work through on my own. It’s serious, well to me anyway. If you do not have a close family member that you can reach out to, try a close friend. Talk to someone professionally – I cannot stress this one enough! If you feel that nothing else is working, please seek professional help before it is too late. There are numerous resources available when “I’m not okay” turns into “I’m at my wits end”. From therapists, counselors, to anonymous hotlines. Help is available!
One of the best ways (in my opinion) to combat stress or instances of depression or anxiety. Sometimes it’s as simple as a quick, brisk walk or an intense, vigorous workout. Something to get the body moving. It helps with maintaining mental fitness, reducing fatigue, improving concentration, among other things.
I don’t know about you but working on something that I am passionate about puts me in a happy place. It can be reading, painting, photography, drawing, crafting, writing, etc. Anything to get the creative juices going, taking our minds off things.
There is something to be said about a bad@ss music playlist. One that puts you in a vibe, whether it be to get focused, relaxed, or amped up. I love to dance, so my playlists put me in a great mood and keep me moving, vibin’ with the beat.
I am still working on this one. I have read that meditating is also a good way to overcome stress and anxiety. Being more mindful and present in the chaos of life and our never-ending thoughts. I have been starting with a minute or two of mindfulness focused on my breathing at a time. Anything longer than that and my thoughts take over. My ultimate goal is to make it to at least 30 mins. (Any tips?! No, seriously!)
Laughter is always good for the soul. It has both mental and physical benefits. I love a good laugh. I mean one of those gut-wrenching, doubling over type of laughs. It’s a great stress reliever that can put you in a feel good mood, no matter how temporary. When I am feeling stressed or down, I tend dig deep in my favorite comedies or stand up to get out of the funk I’m in. Anything Kevin Hart or Dave Chapelle always seem to do the trick.
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]]>Mini-mantras repeated over and over again until the desired message sticks. Slowing making their way into our minds, changing our thoughts and shaping our reality. If that’s the case, then affirmations are already a part of your daily life.
If you were to look up the definition of affirmation, you will find some variation of the following: the action or process of something being affirmed.
Some say that affirmations are unrealistic. Or some degree of wishful thinking. They are actually so much more. Affirmations, positive ones to be more specific, are the gateway to change.
It’s the first step in shifting our mindset. Simple statements repeated at most daily, reshaping our thoughts, leading to changes in our actions. You know the old adage, “Speak it into existence” or “What you put out into the universe you will receive”.
I am a definite believer in positive affirmations. There is something about waking up each morning and the first thing you do (after making your bed…of course) is looking into the mirror in your birthday suit and reciting your affirmations out loud. Okay, okay, maybe not your birthday suit or speaking into your bathroom mirror. You have to do what works for you! Whatever feels comfortable.
Now I am not going to lie and say that I do this EVERY single day (i know, i know! I’m working on it), but I ensure that I have at least eight affirmations that are crucial for getting my day started, functioning throughout the day, and moving in the direction of loving myself more.
If I do not have time to spend looking into my bathroom mirror, I try to either recite them on my way to work; at my desk prior to work; or in times where I find myself deeply overwhelmed or stressed. I find that it is extremely helpful in shifting my mindset. It is not a one–time and done type of thing, but more of a speaking with conviction and determination kinda thing.
Related: My Self-Love Journey
Here are 22 positive affirmations to begin your journey to self-love:
If you have not created any affirmations for whatever desired result or action you are trying to achieve in your life, I highly encourage you to do so. Feel free to use my list, modify them, or create your own.
Until next time,
Nadia
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]]>Emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I am unsure of my future with our new management. Will I continue on or start anew? It’s all very exciting and scary at the same time. One way I have been trying to maintain my sanity and reduce my rather intense anxiety is by immersing myself in books.
August has definitely been one of my better months in terms of reading than it has in the past. I made sure to carve out time to get through some books that have been trying to get through forEVER and those that pique my interest after my many trips to the bookstore, perusing each aisle until something catches my attention.
Good Reads Summary – Humorous, surprising and informative, Dr. Peterson tells us why skateboarding boys and girls must be left alone, what terrible fate await those who criticize too easily, and why you should always pet a cat when you see one on the street. What does the nervous system of the lowly lobster tell us about standing up straight (with our shoulders back) and about success in life? Why did ancient Egyptians worship the capacity to pay careful attention to highest gods? What dreadful paths do people tread when they become resentful, arrogant, and vengeful? Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure, and responsibility, distilling the world’s wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life.
Have you ever started reading a book, only to put it down, over and over again. That was my situationship with 12 Rules for Life. It literally took me a year to read this book. I know, I know… you are probably wondering why I continued on. I have a problem, to where if I start a book, I have to finish it. No matter how dismal or complex it may be. Honestly, I felt as though this book was complex when it did not need to be.
The message could have been conveyed in half the words used in each chapter. But I digress, there were some really good nuggets of information in each chapter. Information that can be applied to real-life situations. So do not let my whining about the nature of this book deter you from reading. It may be a joy to read and you may have a totally different perspective of the information provided.
Good Reads Summary – Told from the perspective of an older woman as she looks back on her youth with both pleasure and regret (mostly pleasure), City of Girls explores themes of female sexuality and promiscuity as well as idiosyncrasies of true love. In 1940, nineteen-year-old Vivian Morris has been kicked out of Vassar College, owing to her lackluster freshman-year performance. Her affluent parents send her to Manhattan to live with her Aunt Peg, who owns a flamboyant, crumbling midtown theater called the Lily Playhouse. There Vivian is introduced to entire cosmos of unconventional and charismatic characters, from the fun-chasing showgirls to a sexy male actor, a grand dame actress, a lady-killer writer, and a no-nonsense stage manager.
But when Vivian makes a personal mistake that results in professional scandal, it turns her world upside down that it will take her years to fully understand. Ultimately, though, it leads to her new understanding of the kind of life she craves – and the kind of freedom it takes to pursue it. It will also lead to the love of her life, a love that stands out from all the rest. Now ninety-five years old and telling her story at last, Vivian recalls how those events altered the course of her life – the gusto and autonomy with which she approached it. At some point in a woman’s life, she gets tired of being ashamed all the time, she muses. After that, she is free to become whoever she truly is.
Let me start by saying, I loved City of Girls. Basically, told from the perspective of the main character, she relives her good and not so good days of her life from the 1940’s onward. Though a different time frame from now, I felt as though I could relate to her and what she was experiencing, especially in a society that tells you how you should look, feel, and act.
From her naivety to her bold determination to live life on her terms, and her terms only, she lives the life that most young girls and women live on the daily. One of my favorite quotes – “The world ain’t straight. You grow up thinking that things are a certain way. You think there are rules. You think there’s a way that things have to be. You try to live straight. But the world doesn’t care about your rules, or what you believe. The world ain’t straight, Vivian. Never will be. Our rules, they don’t mean a thing. The world just happens to you sometimes, is what I think. And people just gotta keep moving through it, best they can. ” – Frank Grecco
Spot on…right?
Good Reads Summary – Rachel Hollis has seen it too often: women not living into their full potential. They feel a tugging on their hearts for something more, but they’re afraid of embarrassment, of falling short of perfection, of not being enough […] She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.
This is my second book by Rachel Hollis that I have enjoyed reading. Her self-help books are simple and easy to read. She stays away from overly complicated words to get her point across, speaking in real-world lingo that we can all understand and relate to. In this book, her focus is all about the woMAN. Challenging us to be a version of ourselves, no matter what we are in life- wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc. This book definitely came into my life at the right time. Especially at a time where I was making excuses about achieving my goals, thinking that I was not enough, and forgetting to own who I was and what I wanted.
Good Reads Summary – When Korede’s dinner is interrupted one night by a distress call from her sister, Ayoola, she knows what is expected of her: bleach, rubber gloves, nerves of steel and a strong stomach. This’ll be the third boyfriend Ayoola’s dispatched in, quote, self-defense and the third mess that her lethal little sibling has left Korede to clear away. She should probably go to the police for the good of the menfolk of Nigeria, but she loves her sister and, as they say, family always comes first. Until that is, Ayoola starts dating the doctor where Korede works as a nurse. Korede’s long been in love with him, and isn’t prepared to see him wind up with a knife in his back: but to save one would mean sacrificingthe other…
I came across this book based on the recommendation of my book club. Just the front cover of the book and title, would have been enough for me add to this to my TBR list. I guess I’ll start with the fact that this was an easy read, like done in two days easy! Well, more like a day and a half. While I enjoyed the book, I found myself becoming increasing frustrated with Korede and her need to constantly clean up her sister’s “messes”. Other than that, the book was interesting, dark, full of family loyalties and dark secrets. Not what a would call a suspenseful thriller, but enough to keep you turning pages until the end. It was a nice break from the non-fiction reads that seemed to consume my entire month.
Good Reads Summary – Organized in four sections – Inception, Longing, Chaos, and Epiphany – K.Y. Robinson’s debut poetry collection explores what it is to want in spite of trauma, shame, injustice, and mental illness. It is one survivor’s powerful testimony, and a love letter “to those who lie awake burning.”
If you love short, deep thought-provoking poems, then The Chaos for Longingdefinitely brings that to the table. Though only, 50-some odd pages, this book had me all in my feels. Feeling sad, hurt, angry, happy, and satisfied with every page. It amazes me how we can relate to someone’s “truth” like it was our own. Like they have the voice we never had. The ability to place words carefully, instilling so many emotions like we were right there along with them, experiencing what they may have felt. Never been into poem anthologies much growing up, but I do enjoy short, relatable collections.
The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene
Best Self – Be you, only better by Mike Bayer
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
On the Come Up by Angie Thomas
Americanah by Chimanmanda Ngozi Adichie
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
Alone by Lisa Gardner
A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James
With love,
-Nawdeeya
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]]>Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. – Margaret MeaId
Sisters, girlfriends, best friends, whatever you may call them, are the most important relationships a girl can have. Creating memories filled with joy and laughter are what makes these memories worthwhile. I have the privilege of calling few people my friends. They are aware of my love for traveling, though they may not always be able to join me. For the first time in our adult lives, my sister and I decided to head to Isla Verde, Puerto Rico for a girl’s getaway. Normally I like to explore new places by my lonesome, but it felt good to be together. Getting some much-needed sister time and giving her a break from her motherly duties back home. This trip definitely taught me a couple of things: 1) I realized the type of traveler that I am and 2) I learned the value of patience.
For this trip, we decided to head to Isla Verde, Puerto Rico. We chose this destination because it was right near the coast and close to the capital, San Juan. We had four days to enjoy this beautiful place. Being the explorer that I am, I had our itinerary in place. All of the places that we would visit each day, you know, no time for rest. No relaxation, no fun. My sister had other plans. I believe her words were “Can’t we just sit and drink?!”. After getting over my frustration, I had one of the best trips in my life. For once, I relaxed. Thanks sis!
I have been wanting to share this trip with you since then, but I felt it was not in good taste to share my good times when the island was devastated not long after by not one, but two hurricanes back to back. I am not even sure some of the places I visited are still operational (mental note to check)! But I wanted to share with you why Puerto Rico is such an awesome place to visit, especially if you do not have a passport and want to just get away.
Isla Verde is such a popular destination, full of tourists and locals hustling about. The area is pretty commercial, full of national hotel and food chains. Visitors can find plenty options to get around. You can choose from public transportation, cabs, and Uber. We used Uber a lot, it was pretty cheap for us to get around areas that were not in walking distance.
We stayed at a cute, vibrant boutique hotel right across from the Carolina Beach. If you are looking for a nice clean hotel at an affordable price, TRYP by Wyndham is a very good option. The hotel has a nice modern feel. With plenty of bright colors- hues of blue and orange.
We stayed in a double with the standard amenities. The bed was super comfortable, which is always a plus. From the room, we could see views of the beach. The room was a little on the small side, but that was perfect because we spent more time outside than in. The bathroom had modern finishes. It had a large stand in shower. Not to mention a huge makeup mirror with built in light. The Tryp contained an outdoor pool, pretty advanced gym, and laundry room. You could also find a pretty spacious lobby area, with a hotel bar/restaurants.
Upon arriving into Luiz Munoz Marin International Airport, we headed straight to the hotel. After getting checked in, we checked out our room and dropped off our luggage. Heading straight for Carolina Beach. Since our flight got in pretty late, we only had time to take a stroll on the beach and grab something to eat.
For dinner, we ate one of the hotel restaurants – My favorite dish was the Faccio Logs. It contained queso, fried mozzarella, and pepperoni. The service was subpar, and the waiter was impatient, border-line rude. Which we later learned that was a cultural barrier of those who were not comfortable speaking much English.
Brunch is definitely one of my favorite meals. Cafe Bistro is a small brunch restaurant located in Isla Verde. It was super packed and there is always a wait, but it was totally worth it. Our food came pretty quickly. It was pretty pricey, and we had a chance to enjoy 2/1 mimosas. My favorites dishes were the Gaucho and Nobles.
If you are looking for a place to go for a good happy hour, Hotties Bar and Grill is the place to go. They have a full bar and restaurant. They have really good drinks and cheap specials. My favorite dish there was the mofongo and churrasco o ropa veija.
I love trying street food when I visit new places. It’s just so authentic and delicious. Located right on the main drag in Isla Verde, you can find a small food stand serving different types of arepas. Not sure if you have ever had an arepas, but they are tasty dough filled goodness. It consists of a sliced corn meal pocket, stuffed with meat, cheeses, and a special garlic sauce. It was the cheapest thing we had during our trip, but it was so worth it.
Prior to heading out to La Placita one evening, we headed to Blue Burger for quick bite to eat. Quick, was definitely not what the servers had in mind, because it took us forever to order (waiting on the server) and get our food. It had a diner vibe and all burgers were served on a blue bun. It was delicious. The burger was juicy and the sweet potato fries hit the spot.
JC Bar & Grill is located Guaynabo, which was a decent car ride from the hotel.
Okay, let me tell you how we ended up at JC Bar & Grill… smh! My sister decided that she wanted to go someplace to try an authentic taco. We ordered an Uber and this young guy pulled up. As we were heading in the direction of restaurant, our Uber driver starts to tell us that we don’t want to eat there, that he knew a better place.
So, I changed our course to the restaurant he provided. I quickly took a screen shot of our route and destination and sent it to my family back home. Now normally, I would have not even considered something like this. I am so glad I did.
JC Bar & Grill was located in the sketchiest part of town. I mean, real sketchy. Burglar bars on windows and garages type sketchy. You had to be buzzed into the restaurant type sketchy. Okay, you get my drift.
Seriously, I have never gone to a restaurant to eat that you had to be buzzed in and out to eat. The kitchen and cashier were behind a thick bullet proof window! Again…. sketchy remember! We had a quick wait before we were seated upstairs with our Uber driver.
He suggested that we order the King Churrasco. It was the best skirt steak I have ever tasted. Who would have known a gem could be found in the sketchiest of places. We enjoyed good food, good conversation, and good laughs. It was all worth it.
As I stated, this trip made me realize what type of traveler my sister and I were. Normally, I have a trip itinerary pretty packed with all of the things that I would like to see and do on my trips. I mean, I may not get another chance to visit, right? Anywho, let’s just say I only was able to do one thing on my list. O-N-Ething! My sister wanted to relax. I was ready to explore. It resulted in a disagreement and us not talking for a period of time.
Located right across the street from our hotel, The Tryp by Wyndham, is Carolina Beach. It was nice and clean. Not too packed. You are able to rent chairs, umbrellas, and jet skis. We spent some time there a couple of times during our trip. It was relaxing to just bask in the sun, soak up some rays, and have some girl time.
If you are looking for nightlife in Isla Verde, La Placita is the way to go. During the day, it is a lively market surrounded by restaurants. At night, once the restaurants are closed, most places turn into a bar or club.
You can pretty much find anything you are looking for from, country to hip hop or reggaetón to pop. There had to be at least 20+ bars there, with some late-night restaurants. They were packed full of locals and tourists enjoying and dancing the night away. We had such a good time!
I love going to new places and learning about the history of it. Old San Juan streets are full of so much history. From the cobble stone streets to the old architecture, there is so much history to take in.
Callejon de la Tanca is a small bar located in Old San Juan. Outside of the bar, you’ll find a covered area with tables. We stopped here because we were told that they had the best frozen Sangria on the island. For about $4.00, you can have this sweet, but sour drink. It was so good, after two I started feeling pretty tipsy. The bar was filled with locals and tourists hanging about. With a DJ on site, you can enjoy some good music.
There are two forts in Old San Juan, El Morro and Castillo De San Cristobal. El Morro was constructed back in 1539. This national historic site is full of action-packed history dating from 1595 to 1942. It is comprised of a main plaza, a total of six upper and lower levels, and a lighthouse. Admission to the fort is $3.00, $5.00 if you are looking to visit San Cristobal. Children 15 and under are free. Be sure to visit, the views are amazing.
In addition to enjoying a good drink and some history, we also explored the many souvenir shops, boutiques, art galleries, and unique architecture. A local community event was happening in right across the street from Callejon de la Tanca in La Perla. It was a neat experience because we were able to mix and mingle with locals. (Which is one of my favorite things to do!) There was live music and activities for the kids. It was nice, considering it was stated that we should stay away from the neighborhood. Live life maś! Right?!
I definitely wish I had more time to explore more of Isla Verde and San Juan. Hopefully, I am able to make a solo trip there to enjoy and see more of what Puerto Rico has to offer. This trip was definitely one of my more relaxing trips. If you are looking for an awesome girl’s trip idea that not far and does not require a passport, Puerto Rico is a good option. The island is full of beautiful options to choose from to hang with your bestie(s).
Happy Travels,
-Nadia
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